History's First Heartbreak
History's First Heartbreak
Was It the Woman or the Man?
Similar to the chicken or the egg question, I’ve been considering a concept very advanced, nuanced, and perhaps unnecessary for my mind to dwell on but I have been thinking on it for some time like how a screensaver comes on in the background of a vacant computer.
Who in our world of love and romance is generally the first to have their heart broken? Who starts the seemingly never-ending chain of heartbreak? Who breaks one person’s heart who then breaks another heart out of fear of repeating their last relationship only for the cycle to continue infinitely? Who’s really ‘at fault?’ And this is not one of those posts berating any one but simply analyzing human psychology and overall history of romantic relationships that failed. I’ll include my thoughts on how to avoid this for the younger crowd who may not have learned this yet, or those who have been through this but refused to learn.
When we go back to biblical times, we learn that Adam and Eve were told not to eat a specific fruit off a tree, the snake tempted Eve, she ate it and because of her allure and seduction convinced Adam to eat from the tree as well, and they were damned. So from the earliest times, we can see that the women was the one who tempted the man *by her own nature, and not of bad will* and cursed themselves because of it. Fine. But perhaps you don’t believe or want more evidence as this simply isn’t enough. To encompass the entirety of a population it’s best we dive into the psychology of relationships to really understand who does the heartbreaking and why it happens on such a wide-scale.
Anecdotes and Psychology
I have read a lot of studies and fragments of books throughout my youth but what I give my knowledge credence to the most is anecdotes from people all around the world for many centuries. How is it that a man from Rio and another man from the Bronx can both have the exact same breakup story, the exact same story of where it all started to go to shit in their relationship, and the exact same story of how quickly their girlfriend ended up dating another guy? And to extrapolate this even further, you will hear millions of men all agreeing that they had similar stories. Almost to the point where you’re convinced women and men are biologically framed in their own ways that sets them up for certain successes and failures in similar fashion.
Now if we admit this, we can then reverse engineer our failures, modify our behaviors as best we can (super difficult with emotions involved which is where logic and will power must come in), and avoid these common fates while doubling down on what we do so well. There are certain points to understand firstly.
Men’s minds primarily operate in logic
Women’s minds primarily operate in emotion/feelings
The obvious caveat to these is that this isn’t 100% of the time. Women can think logically as well as men can think emotionally. Just the primary driver for women is emotions-based and the primary driver for men is logic-based. That is why you cannot seduce most women by talking about the intricacies of chess or your engineering project but rather your trip to Les Deux Alps and how the croissants in France are only slightly better than in Manhattan and how I love black caviar but only on celebrations like for New Years where I had Blue Label Whiskey with my cute Russian ex-girlfriend but I like shorter girls and she had a temper whereas you seem angelic so we should definitely kiss right about now because your lips are near perfect until mine join them so come here. The former is all about logic and rules and laws that need to be followed. The latter is all about fun and bending and flowing with the spontaneity of life while experiencing the flavors it offers. Girls just wanna have fun, yeah?
Once we can see that women like to have fun and not be battered with more problems than they already have, you can slowly start to form a dynamic between the man and the woman which is:
The man facilitates emotions & thrills while keeping most of the logical issues to himself such as his and her security & the woman satisfies the man’s logical needs such as reducing his already-high stress of being the one in charge in life through sex, food, status, joy, laughter, dancing, little girl energy, etc.
This right here, if plastered on each person’s brain, will immediately help seduction for whoever they’re aiming for. But because of the false dualities we operate under we try to seduce and keep our partners happy by doing what we like done to keep us happy. For example, a woman is biologically turned on or at the very least captivated by a man they heard from other women saying he’s really good with the ladies and so many hot women want to be with him. She’ll play it off like he’s an asshole but deep down, when she’s laying in bed where her fantasies come out to play on their own volition, she will think of dirty things with said man, even though she may very well feel disgusted with herself. Even though she’ll be shocked that she could have such thoughts. It’s in their nature, which most women will act on. So here’s the false duality that a lot of women, especially younger ones, operate under. Because they’re turned on by men that are desired by other women, they believe they’ll seduce the men by showing that other men want them. They’ll talk about how another guy took her to this restaurant and how this other man had nice interiors in his Maybach. But if you are a man, you should be laughing right about now because you’ve either experienced this first hand and felt absolutely repulsed, or understand that it’s a huge turnoff for you. Why? Because of the false duality we operate under.
Men value loyalty above else. We love purity and sanctity; and this applies to our women very much. Of course we can still be attracted to a very seductive and attractive woman who may or may not have been with many men in her past, but most men will do their best to not take her seriously. Similarly, we believe that because we like women who aren’t sleeping with other men or these so-called pure creatures *whoever planted this falsity in our brains*, we also by nature operate under the pretense of not showing or talking about how we’ve been with more women than we have. We instinctively avoid talking to girls we like about other girls who like us or who we’ve been with. This very same false duality we operate under could, for all intents and purposes, increase her attraction for you if she were to know or hear of your escapades with other women. Now obviously, like within the theme of this blog, there is a way of doing this covertly with style and class, and not overtly blurting out you got 7 bad bitches on speed dial. For example, you can speak about how you took a Brazilian girlfriend on a date to Duet in Brooklyn and the foie gras was excellent (when talking about French cuisine you’d bring this up, not out of nowhere). Or how an old fling forced you to go skydiving with her after she spontaneously bought you tickets. Similarly to this nature, you can break the false duality you biologically operate under, and attract the woman using her biological nature. Doubling down on your positive while eliminating your negatives.
But like I mentioned above, men can control their biological urges and tendencies if strong and capable enough the same way women can. I can give you a whole book of things to do and to avoid, and you’ll be very cognizant of each of these so-called commandments yet in the moment and under fire, you will almost always revert back to your biological tendencies. It’s not easy to override thousands of years of genetic coding and evolutionary psychology, but it is possible, with enough effort and consistency.
Now let’s get into different reasons why breakups occur and who does it to who.