untitled 1.0

I will be starting a series on the blog where there will be no specific topic but a conglomeration of thoughts I have that I’d rather ramble on here than tweeting. It’ll be a little erratic but this is as raw as it gets. You’ll get to dive into my mind and see exactly how I run things. I’ll try to portray it onto here as best I can.

Arrogance should either be rewarded or punished. Often time, the younger and more innocent and the less battered, the more arrogant a man is. He believes he got it all planned out and he very well may. But the truth is that most do not and never will. Now for the few who do have it their way by the time they reach 30, bravo to them. They will have a spirit of Connor McGregor and the accolades to come with it. But how many McGregor’s are there? And how many wannabes on twitter flexing 50k watches they bought off AliBaba for $20 are there? How many are fulfilled in their freedom to do what they please? And how many wake up excruciatingly early to take a long commute to work to a bullshit, zero-value, zero-difficulty job that pays just enough to be comfortable enough to do just the bare minimum? Majority of people, no?

I believe a man should be arrogant within himself. Kind of like a bet or a challenge.

“Bet you won’t talk to her, PUSSY”

“If you were a real one, you’d get that cardio in right the fuck NOW”

“Oh you’re tired? Want to play a blitz chess game that’ll amount to no progress in your ELO instead of making that affiliate video or sending out those cold emails? Guess you’re meant for the Gulag, bitchboy.”

Now of course, it’s also good to speak kindly to yourself. Not always being rude or derogative or calling yourselves names is mandatory because a lot of big, smart pHDs (puny, hairless dickheads) said so. In all the books like the Fifth Agreement (awful book last I tried reading it, too hippie for my tainted soul) and what a lot of intelligent minds tell you is that what you think of yourself ios what you put out.

I don’t know the validity of this. Truly. I’ve never had self-doubt issues or confidence problems growing up so to me it’s a non-issue. But I’m sure those who are constantly in fear of disappointment or have went through whatever traumatic incident growing up can definitely benefit from positive think.

But that’s what you think of yourself. What about how others treat you? Do you have parents who are strict on you? Tough love? What line on the tough love scale is too far? I grew up training Tae Kwon Do on a professional level. Did it for 10 years. National Champ at 8 years old. Georgia, Atlanta was the location to the tournament. 5 fights that day. Glorious. My coach was a Korean Russian and he did not fuck around. He would hit you and often times with a wooden stick. But you could tell he was very loving towards his students, and only wanted to bring out the best beast within. And with me, he did exactly that. I appreciated that tough love. He and I worked well.

However, I have certain people in my life who have tough love for me as well. But it does not mesh well with my framework of operations. It works against me.

“Why are they so mean to me?”

I ask myself like an anime character with sobbing emojis or whatever the fuck.

It can be pretty gay to feel pity for yourself so I don’t. Instead, I block those people out because I know I have to do what needs to get done. So if their “tough love” goes too far, they are somewhat excommunicated. But at the same damn time.. their voice and doubts linger in the back of my mind, and it does give me that slight push. To prove them wrong. Parents do this to their kids thinking that even though they may grow up despising or hating or being on bad terms with their parents, at least their success will be due to this negative treatment towards their child’s character and overall ego development. I don’t think they seem to understand that regardless of the success they might bring their son or daughter through negative means of raising them, it will only grow the resentment. The children, once grown and achieved their goals, will not forget. It will be highly likely they will still hold resentment, wouldn’t you agree?

I can say a lot about me being raised. It wasn’t bad. Nowhere near as bad as growing up with a broken home. Or being an only child. But it definitely molded me into being the character I am today. I am raw. I am authentic. I am a free-spirited rebel since the age of 10 when I started randomly cutting class in middle school. Zero reason to do so other than that shit was boring, so I hid in the bathroom stalls reading a book. Until I realized I can just jet out of the school doors an hour or three earlier. And so I did. Which bled into high school where I cut at least 30-50% of overall school days starting in freshman year. Do not regret that decision one fucking bit btw. Had a blast and had a lot of fun playing handball and meeting other people who cut as well.

My point is that I have a rebellious bone within me from a very young age and this definitely has something to do with how I was raised because my younger siblings are the opposite of me. Very well-listened, don’t break rules, the whole nine yards. So in a way, however I was raised and however I agree or disagree with the methods, I should still be blessed because I am who I am specifically because of the nurture methods instilled. And that goes back to above where I mentioned that the parents will bet on their children being thankful for the way they raised their kid. And I am. But I’m probably not what you’d call a star-child. I do not do things the way they want me to. I do not take the safe route. I am, according to stats and them and all their friends, a very intelligent, high potential man, and I don’t disagree (as humbly as possible), yet there are younger gentlemen than me who are far less intelligent and interesting who are killing it in the money game. Which to parents is a huge determining factor of their success in raising their children. I understand. I tell them to hold on their hats because it’ll happen in due time. And when it doe, it’ll be an explosion of fireworks like that they’ve never seen, even in Moscow on New Years.

So that whole ramble is one thought I had. I probably have these types of thoughts every 30-60 minutes throughout my waking day. Every thing you just read was probably thought and conceptualized in my mind within 1-2 minutes. But it certainly takes a longer time to type it all out. Even with my 120 words-per-minute typing (shoutout Runescape).

But back to arrogance.

I never had a problem with confidence so my arrogance was apparent. I was a character. I was interesting. I was a bit of a dickhead in a funny way, not an ‘end-your-life’ kind of way. Hurt a few people’s feelings as you may in a sensitive world. Lost a bunch of girls (lol). But it was all a learning process to get me to where I’m at. I learned humility. I learned the balance of extremes. I understood that you don’t always have to be outspoken nor have an opinion on everything. But at the same time I’ve learned that most people are sheep with the majority crowd’s beliefs and decisions. People are afraid of speaking their mind due to losing money or pussy.

It also taught me that young men, who are easily impressionable, will find characters such as myself but broadcasted for the socials to see, and immediately copy their personalities and styles. They are smitten by these loud-mouth lambo-driving, bimbo-FUCKing gun-slinging BADBOIS. I get it. But after some time, 3-6 months have passed and you sit down to have a chat, and it’s the most diabolical thing.

They sound identical to whoever you can easily tell they’re copying, except there’s no true flare nor uniqueness to it. It’s a bland, stale piece of bread made through a 3D printer. That is very sad to see because it is a loss of identity, and any one with a shred of emotional intelligence will see it a mile away. And you know who has a very high emotional intelligence? bItChEs BrO. The very same chicks you wanted to sleep with so you adopted this persona will be able to read your shtick a mile away, if they’re not braindead and worthy of dating. This fake-personality may land you some smashes but in the end, you will find yourself unfulfilled and lost, mainly due to a loss of identity.

Hold on to your roots. Don’t lose your childhood you. Learn from those you admire and respect but don’t let them take over you. Be cognizant of you sounding like them and thinking like them too much. Have your own personality and style, after all, you want people to be around you for your internal thoughts and true philosophical leanings. Not whatever you were psyopped into being.

I can say more on this topic but this will do. I did this in one take, not going to revise anything. These are as a raw as it gets. Probably won’t even read it over to check or mistakes or shortening sentences or adding words to make them cleaner, better flowing. I enjoyed this and will do it more often. Subscribe if you haven’t. Next post will be more serious and well-written.

The Raw Multifaceted Individual
The Fiery Spirit & Unique Mind
Trailblazing Cowboy of 2024