What Women Don't Fully Understand On the Difficulty of Being a Man
A Day In The Life of A Strong Man
Life is very difficult.
If you didn’t grow up in a 10 bedroom estate where you never have to worry about money, had to fend for yourself, learn the ropes on your own, make your own decisions, fuck up, learn from those fuck ups, and reiterate the next steps… you’ll agree that life is very difficult.
Men and women, first and foremost, are a team. Not opponents or enemies, as I see some MGTOW or blackpillers suggest. It’s very foolish and I hope for them to find the courage to be vulnerable to try again one day.
Before we go into this, it’s important to realize that teams are far more effective as a combined force rather than the sums of its parts.
3 units of value from the man and 3 units of value from the woman.
When added together, for their individual parts, they amass a total of 6 units of value.
But when multiplied, they equal 9.
Relationships are very much like that, as are friendships, work teams, and brotherhoods.
So I thought it was only fair for me, as a man, to describe a bit of the plight of being a man that most women, if not all, don’t have any realization about on how difficult it is to fill those shoes.
And this is not to disparage the beautiful women whom we all love very much, and would arguably cease to create and explore without them. But I believe it’s crucial for women to understand their man, so they can further appreciate the value he brings to their life, and hope to one day bring him peace as he does and tries to every day to his woman and tribe.
Wake up. Look at the time. Realize it’s later than anticipated.
Look at bank account. See that it’s running low.
Run quick math in the head to see how much is needed to survive this month.
Rent, groceries, car lease, building parking, take girl out on nice date for the month, go to that wedding we said we’d go to, multiply $200 by 2 since you’re taking and paying for your girl to be there.
By the time you do all this, a minute or two has passed and an existential dread has come over the man’s mind. He doesn’t even realize it, though. Others would obviously exclaim that’s called stress.
The man, dumbfounded, would say I don’t feel stress. This is just normal for me.
Texts his girl back: Good morning Princess
He gets up quickly to catch up on lost time. Washes face, brushes teeth, gets a glass of water, fills up black coffee, rolls up a smoke, gets to his computer, and checks on business.
RED.
Horrible start to the morning. An issue with the system, the ad spend was going towards a dead link, $280 wasted so far in the day.
More dread broods over the skin of the man. He breaths deeply.
His girl texts back how his morning was.
Great he replies. Asks about hers. Gets immediately back to putting out fires.
Few hours go by.
His girl asked if everything’s okay and why he hasn’t responded.
Time flew. Work, he texted back.
It’s finally 3 PM, he has had 1 or 2 glasses of water and about 3-4 hand-rolled cigarettes. Fires are put out. New work is put in for the day. He’ll go make a snack.
He gets a call from his mother. She’s arguing with your dad, more than usual. You call your dad. He doesn’t want to talk to your mom.
Children.
You try settling it between the two of them individually, as a therapist. Having them unload their issues and problems onto you. Punching bag.
More dread takes over your breath.
You keep calm.
You carefully ask the right questions to make them understand each other. Tell them to talk tonight, and solve it.
Back to work. But first, a quick bite. Order DoorDash, no time to make food.
You look out, after you put your phone down, and see the beautiful weather. Sun is blazing. You wish you could get your tan on before the wedding this weekend. No time. No time for games. No time. Back to work.
Few hours go by and your girl comes home.
She starts unloading her stressful day. You soak it up, of course. You tell her she’s strong, and that her job is not for the weak. And one day, she won’t have to work there anymore. You build on the future with her.
We’re going to have children, and your only job will be taking care of their food and clothing to wear as we decide which car to take to go to the beach.
She smiles. More relieved after your talk. She asks about your day. How you’re doing. Did you eat?
You smile, barely. But you make sure to smile.
It was good, my love. Regular day.
You usually tell her about your struggles, you don’t shy away from it. But today wasn’t a good day to unload onto her like every one else did to you. You can take it, you’re the man. She’s your woman. It doesn’t matter if she can take it, you don’t want to burden her any further. You’re the man.
She wants to spend time with you as her work day is over. But you can’t stop thinking about work. Money. Your family. Arguments. Your knee hasn’t been the same since that Alps trip 2 years ago. PT doesn’t help for shit, and who has time to test out different PT’s. You decide to slug it through.
She goes to sleep, you kiss her goodnight. You get back to work.
You pace around, wondering and dreaming about how you’re going to get yourselves out of this one. 1 hour goes by. No work has been done. Just fantasizing. You snap out of it, and work another 2-3 hours. It’s now 3 AM.
You write in your journal what the plan is for tomorrow.
You go to sleep, praying tomorrow will be a better day.
You wake up.
Unfortunately, today, it isn’t.
Now this is not to scare some readers into thinking men are just living miserable lives, day in and out. But this is how a lot of hardworking men’s days are like. It’s a struggle. A battle. We wake up daily and feel like we’re in war. At least mentally and psychologically. Maybe even spiritually. And often times physically.
But what is there for a man to do than to keep pushing forward?
He’s the man after all. He’s the one who’s going to make it. He’s the savior, and there’s no fucking chance in hell he’s going to lay over and lose to life.
He’s going to get out of this. He’s going to win. All of this while taking care of his people because that’s what a man does. Day in. Day out.
If it means he can take care of his people one more day while staying afloat, he will suffer and keep slugging forward. Because he knows that one day, he will have persevered. And the life he fantasized about will have come true. And it will be because he never gave up. That’s the drive of the man.
So if you have a man, as a female reader, or if you are a man who’s going through similar ups and downs like described, just know motherfucker you are not alone. Not even close. I feel you. I resonate with you deeply. We’re all out there. And we’re all going to fucking make it. I assure you that. And when we do, we’ll remember reading this piece. And the waterfall of fulfillment we’ll feel once we make it after having struggled so hard and for so long will be worth every ounce of suffering we go through on a daily. Because, motherfucker, we are men. That’s what we do.
If you are anything like the man mentioned above, you are already well on your way to becoming a lethal operator. A man of many talents with sprezzatura that cannot be understood by others as to how flawlessly you move despite how difficult the tasks at hand really are.
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This was a quick write as I am quite busy with work and am currently going through a battlefield every single day. But I am enthralled by it all. Because my drive has never been more primed, and I know when this is over, and I have succeeded, it will all be worth it. As it will for everyone of you.
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Until next time.
Stay raw.